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"Jealousy: It Will 'Get' You Every Time!"

08/14/2019 04:05:34 PM

Aug14

Rabbi Reuben Israel Abraham, CDR, CHC, USN (ret)

A storekeeper once complained to to Rabbi Meir of Premishlan: "Somebody opened a store next door to mine and he is taking business away from me!" The venerable Rabbi replied: "Have you ever seen a horse drink water from a river?  He walks into the water and stamps his hooves.  Why?  Because he sees another horse also drinking from the river (i.e.- his reflection in the water), and he is afraid the other horse will drink up all the water and leave none for him.  He therefore kicks at his own mirror image.  That is the attitude and reaction of the horse.  But you know better!  You should realize that there is enough water in the river for all the horses, and that no one can touch what G-d has prepared for you.  Therefore you have nothing to fear, and and you have nothing to be jealous of."

We read in this week's parashah, Parashat Va'etchanan, the "second" version of the Aseret HaDibrot (the Ten Commandments).  We find the following: "And you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, and you shall not desire your neighbor's house...." (Devarim 5:18)  We can easily understand why HaShem commanded us not to steal or to murder.  It is, after all, physically possible for a person to refrain from committing such crimes.  But jealousy is an emotion; it is an integral part of human nature.  When you see something you like, you naturally develop  desire for it.  How can the Torah forbid this emotion?

The Ibn Ezra tells us it is expected that while an ignorant, poverty-stricken man might covet his neighbor's daughter because of her beauty or her family's wealth, it would never dawn on him to lust after the wife of the king (i.e.- the queen).  She is so inaccessible to him that such a thought would never enter his mind.  So must it be with his neighbor's belongings or his neighbor's wife.  He must view these as being as unattainable as the king's gold or the queen herself.  Remembering Rabbi Meir's admonition, we must believe that HaShem  looks after us and provides for our needs.  After all, we find in Pirkei Avot (4:1): "Ben Zoma says: Which person is rich?  He who is happy with his lot...."  May we all find such happiness.

Thu, April 25 2024 17 Nisan 5784