Rabbi's Corner

We read the following in this week's parashah, Parashat Eykev: "I had ascended the mountain to receive the tablets of stone, The Tablets of the Covenant that HaShem made with you, and I stayed on the mountain forty days and forty nights eating no bread and drinking no water." (Devarim 9:9) This verse relates how Moshe went up the mountain shortly after the B'Nei Yisrael (the Children of Israel) had received the Aseret HaDibrot (the Ten Utterances/Sayings/Commandments) eventually descending on Shi’a Assar Thammuz (the 17th of Tammuz).  Upon seeing the B'Nei Yisrael worshiping the Eygel HaZahav (the Golden Calf), he throws the tablets down shattering them into pieces.  Moshe then returns to the top of the mountain to plead with HaShem not to kill the people: "I threw myself down before Hashem, eating no bread and drinking no water forty days and forty nights as before, because of the great wrong you had committed…" (Devarim 9:18) Moshe descends the mountain on the 29th of Av having achieved his goal of saving the B'Nei Yisrael.  On the very next day, Rosh Chodesh Elul, Hashem tells him: "Thereupon Hashem said to me: Carve out two tablets of stone like the first, and come up to Me on the mountain…’" (Devarim 10:1) The end of this 40-day/40-night period is Yom Kippur upon which the B'Nei Yisrael are forgiven for this grievous sin.  Rashi tells us that during the middle 40 days/nights period, the period during which Moshe voluntarily ascended the mountain to plead with HaShem on behalf of the B'Nei Yisrael, HaShem was angry with them to the point that He wanted kill them.  Moshe "convinced" H-m otherwise.  This middle 40 day/night period teaches us an important lesson: in order to develop a positive relationship with another person, we must work very hard at this process over an extended period of time.  This best evidenced via the Jewish wedding ceremony.

Halakha (Jewish Law) intentionally divides the Jewish wedding ceremony into two distinct parts: erusin, where the man and woman are bound to each other in a betrothal that does not allow them to live with each other, and nisuin, the ceremony under the chuppah (wedding canopy) that does permit them to finally live together as husband and wife.  In pre-Medieval times, the period between erusin and nisuin was one year.  Obviously, the entire process of getting married was eventually compressed into one ceremony that still contains both parts, each part being separated by the reading of the Ketubah (the wedding contract).  Even this small amount of time between each part of the Jewish wedding ceremony continues to give emphasis to the fact that love between husband and wife requires time and effort to develop and grow.  Because our relationship with HaShem is akin to the relationship between husband and wife, it also takes much time and great effort to develop and grow.  The simple fact of the matter is that the more time and effort we put into our relationship with HaShem, the greater and more satisfying will that relationship be.

As we are approaching the month of Elul, that period of time when we prepare ourselves for the Yamim Nora'im (the Days of Awe), may we make a concerted effort to nurture our relationship with HaShem as well as all our relationships with our spouses, our families, our Synagogue, and the People Israel.