Rabbi's Corner

In this week’s parashah, Parashat Devarim, we find the following: “Then all of you came to me (Moshe) and said: ‘Let us send men ahead of us and they shall spy out the land for us, and they shall return to us (with) a word (of) the way in which we should ascend and the cities in which we should enter.  And the matter was good in my eyes…” (Devarim 1:22-23)    However, it must be noted that in the Talmud Bavli, the Babylonian Talmud, in Masekhet Sotah 34b, our Sages state that HaShem did not agree with Moshe.  Rabbi Yissocher Frand notes the difficulty of such a conclusion.  If it is really true that HaShem opposed the idea of sending out the spies, why did He not merely tell Moshe that it was not to be done?  Why did He allow the B'nei Yisrael to do something of which He did not approve?  Why did not Hashem just say "No!"  Well, as is usually the case when a Rabbi asks a question, the answer is provided by that very same person.

Rabbi Frand answers his own question by citing a comment made by the late Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivat Telz in Cleveland, Ohio.  Rabbi Mottel Katz, zichrono livracha, noted that sometimes children wish to do something that their parents consider inappropriate.  More often than not what is the parents' reaction?  It used to be that they would "put their foot down" and forbid their children from doing what they wished to do.  I remember such reactions from my parents, especially my father.  When he said "No!", he meant "No!"  What did I do?  I stopped dead in my tracks and followed his dictum.  However, it turns out that sometimes this is not always the best reaction.  Sometimes we need to concede and give in to our children.  How do we know this to be true?  We know this to be true because of the lesson learned from the episode of the spies as found in the Torah.  In the episode of the spies, HaShem understood that B'nei Yisrael were not at all ready to accept H-s denial of their request.  He therefore conceded to their request and let them go their own way.  And the rest, as they say, is history.  In the case of our children, as long as there is no danger to their lives, there may be times that they may simply not be able to accept our total refusal at the moment.  And it is at such a time that it might be best for us to concede with the understanding that other opportunities will arise to bring our point across more effectively in order to bring about our desired results.

The major news events that take place week after week always center around "devarim," "words."  What words were said?  What words were not said?  What words should have been said?  At what moment should these words have been said?  At what moment should these words have not been said?  The fact is that words which are said are usually taken and “spun” and "respun" in ways that whoever is speaking them wants to make him/herself appear to be "right."  Sometimes, more often than we care to admit, the words that have been spoken lead to actions that are taken.  And just like words that have been spoken, actions cannot be taken back.  Hopefully, the action that is taken brings about the desired result for all concerned.  However, if the action taken is not right, it is sometimes better to be smart and concede to its performance no matter what the result.  Why?  Because, as HaShem taught us through the episode of the spies, it is always better to be smart than to be right...for the greater good.

Shabbat Shalom and have a meaningful fast!